Thursday, February 01, 2007

A Chidhood Friend

January 2007 had been really good for me. It was the month that I got to catch up with a lot of my old friends. Some on purpose, some by accident. Of course, it was the month that I turned 22. Just want to thank the people in Indonesia who flooded my SMS inbox when the clock stroke midnight. Thanks guys! Really appreciate it!

There were a few other friends who celebrated their birthdays in January also. Had a great time with Raina, my new Indon friend who is studying in S'pore. Really enjoyed the time catching up with Joanie. You are still so beautiful! Thanks for bringing me to that nice restaurant!

With that said, the most interesting, and perhaps, most unexpected thing that happened to me in January was that I bumped into a childhood friend. What's the big deal, you might ask. For we probably bump into many old friends along our journey in life. Of course, I have bumped into many of my childhood friends in the past, but this one is different, very different.

We were conducting a Super-Teen Workshop for a school in Singapore and as usual, I turned up in the morning before 8am. I was walking towards the training room and I saw a teacher standing outside the room talking to her students. Nothing unusual. But somehow, as I continued to look at her, she held her gaze at me too. She recognized me right away and suddenly I too, remembered who she is. She is my secondary school mate whom I knew in Secondary 1. Still, nothing unusual at this point.

However, you must understand how we met and how we lost contact. In secondary one, she was introduced to me by our mutual friends because she was interested in me. (Haha...I know some of you won't believe it. But I am just telling it the way it was. I won't mention her name here for obvious reasons.) I really appreciate that someone had a crush on me but, at that time, I made a promise to God that I won't go into a Boy-Girl-Relationship until after 16 years old, when I have finished my O levels. Also, she was with the wrong group of friends at that time and I didn't really like it. So one night, at about 9pm, we were talking in the park near our houses (we lived quite near each other). And I told her that I'm sorry, and I won't go into a steady relationship throughout these 4 years. Hey, I did my best to say it in a very nice manner. At 13 years old, when a girl is told something like that, she could only do what a girl at that age could do--cry.

She was crying when she went home and her mother saw it. As a concerned mum, she asked her what happened and subsequently found out everything. When I got home, I got the shock of my life when I received a call from her mum. Her mum screamed at me through the phone as if i was deaf. She ask me things like, "Why you make my daughter cry? What did you do to her?" And she threatened to tell everything to my teachers. I was a prefect and I didn't want her mum to complain about me. At 13 years old, I was really terrified. It was the first time I made a girl cry and it was the first time somebody's mother scolded me. And that was the last time I spoke to her and her mum. Until last month, that is.

After 9 years of living our own lives, we met each other again in a school. This time, she as a teacher, and I as an external trainer for the workshop. So dramatic, you might say. And indeed it was. Honestly, I didn't expect her to become a teacher because of the group of friends that she mixed around with during her lower secondary school years. She changed, of course. And I was happy for her. We really got a big laugh when we met each other for the first time in nine years. It was sooo funny! There wasn't a moment of awkwardness when we talked and our conversation was very free-flowing and fun. It was not like when some couple broke up, they don't talk to each other anymore and don't even acknowledge each other if they see their ex-partner on the streets. Some couples might even hate each other if their break-up wasn't properly handled. True?

After catching up with her, she revealed that I was her first crush! Haha....I didn't know that until nine years later! So I asked her if she hated me for what I did nine years ago, and she said that I did the right thing. Because even if we got together at 13 years old, the relationship will not last. According to my own research, 90% of the couples who get together before the age of 18 will not last more than 2 years. Just ask your friends who just broke up! Now, my friend thinks that she was so childish and foolish at that time. Because, after our episode together, the relationships with her other boyfriends didn't last too long. More often than not, it was ended on a sour note. Good thing we didn't get together in Sec 1, if not, I'm not sure how to talk to her again!

She went on to share a lot of other things with me and she really went though a tough time during her teenage years to adulthood. I could only feel for her. She shared with me in explicit detail of her relationships with her boyfriends, which I won't write here, and I almost want to punch those guys for her. Then again, we must love our enemies. Let's not resort to violence. Haha. For me, I began to sense a pattern in the guys she attracted and so I asked her if she noticed a pattern in the guys she attracted. This is so important. Because sometimes, we keep on attracting the wrong people in our lives and we complain why all our relationships don't work. Please beware of this. You must break that pattern. Maybe you should change your friends, change the place you hangout, change your thoughts, change your expectations. I told my friend simply that she deserve someone better. And she really do. She has become so beautiful now! So, I jokingly asked her if there might be a chance of us getting together, and she said no, because I am shorter than her! Haha.... Which is true. Of course, I know deep down that I have no interest in her and that now we are just very good friends. Sometimes, it is better to remain this way. Like I said, she deserves someone better.

I am so happy for her now because I know that she has left her past behind her and is changing as the days go by. Remember, the past does not equal to the future. I gave her a book on relationships and she is already benefiting from it. I really admire and respect her for what she had gone through. Tough girl! I salute you! Hey, if you are reading this, I just want to remind you something I said in the Pan Pac Lounge: "May you find fulfillment in your life! And the best for you is yet to come!" I will support you man! You are the Best!

For others who are reading this, if you are not yet ready to handle boy-girl-relationships, I suggest that you take your time. Especially for those who are still studying. A BGR takes up a lot of time and energy, not to mention money, which can be used in your studies, hobbies, leisure, friends and your family. Don't waste your time. Do what is important for you now!

For my childhood friend, I know that from now on, her Life Will Never, EEE.....EE...EVER, Be The Same AGAIN!!!

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